You Had Me
by Adreamynightmare
Summary: Kise had a bad past, probably bad future and when Aomine comes along, there is a chance all that can change. But Aomine was too dense and Kise was too broken, therefore, the chance was too slim.
1. Always, Its the beginning

"Aomine-icci! Let's play one on one!"

Kise requested with the brightest smile pasted on his face.

"Uh."

Aomine grunted in response

He was already on the court, shooting the ball swiftly from where he stood.

"Wah! Aomine-icci, you're so cool!"

Kise always complimented Aomine on his skills, since that was what caught his attention the first time he saw Aomine. Aomine picked his ball off the ground and walked over to Kise locking him into a small hug, mostly as a sign that Aomine is now acknowledging Kise's presence. After letting him go Aomine released a large stream of air out of his nose and crinkled his face.

"You smell weird."

Aomine exclaimed

"Eh? It's the fragrance I was promoting, I thought it smelled nice."

Kise lifted up the shoulder sleeve of his shirt and sniffed it, feeling slightly discouraged.

"It's not bad, just, not, manly."

Aomine broke into a flex as he said 'manly.' Kise erupted into a laughs, soon after Aomine joined him.

Breathing heavily Aomine spoke roughly, "Alright! Let's play!"

They rushed to the court and begun their one of many One on One games.

One Steal Kise.

One Steal Aomine.

One Steal Kise.

One Steal Aomine.

One Shot Aomine.

"Oi! Aomine-icci! This is One on One! Not murder the other player!"  
Kise exclaimed, annoyed, but continued to mumble to himself.

"It's not like I want you to go easy, I just want to win once in a while." Kise looked up at Aomine who didn't hear a word he said but continued to dribble around the ball, "Aomine-icci does look happy, neh? What an idiot."

Kise chuckled under his breathe and went over to his duffel bag to fetch his water bottle. Aomine walked up to him and threw his arm over Kise's shoulder.

"Kise, come over to my place today."

Aomine asked, but it sounded more like a command.

Kise walked closely next Aomine as they marched to Aomine's house. Kise always clung to Aomine, before and after they started dating. Ever since he was a kid, Kise made sure to only have two stories in his life, a good one and the real one. The good one was the one he told everyone and the only story his friends would know, the real one stood hidden in a dark, deep, box Kise hid in the corner of his mind. A corner that erupted into a room that took up all his space when he was alone. Kise continued to walk closely alongside Aomine, thinking of what he truly was.

A liar.

It was true. Hiding everything and making up stories. He was a very good liar, well, he had to be; he is a model. Someone who is paid to smile happily and beautifully can't show sorrow. His eyebrows knitted slightly as he thought.

_I'm a liar. I have deceived my friends and my lover. All my life everything was fake, everything always had a fog screen in front of it to hide the truth. I had a corrupted family that corrupted me. Maybe I was already corrupted? _

Kise's eyebrows were incredibly scrunched together at this point.

"Oi! Ryouta! Are you okay?"

Kise's body jumped when Aomine called his name, pulling him out of his self-loathing thoughts before they could get too bad. Kise looked up at Aomine and threw his usual model smile, his eyes bright and his teeth slightly showing.

"Yea Aomine-icci, I'm perfectly fine."

Kise turned his still smiling face forward and continued walking, slightly quickening his pace. Aomine easily caught up and grabbed Kise's arm.

"Yea there is something wrong; you usual talk to me whenever we're walking."

Kise stared at Aomine, not saying a word. He felt his insides squirm. He stood there trying to figure out how to change the direction of the conversation so it was no longer pointed at him.

"Neh, Aomine, why don't you try saying something?"

"I'd rather not,"

The quick and blunt reply that Aomine gave shook Kise's fragile frame.

Was it that hard to have a conversation now? No, No...Kise was probably over thinking. He let Aomine continue.

"I hate small talk. It feels unnecessary. To be honest. I'm glad you have nothing to say, its peaceful."

Aomine finished what his sentence and threw his hands up to hold the back of his head as he continues to walk along side the blond.

Kise's feet started walking on auto pilot as he tried to process what Aomine just said. Kise felt a little tremor emit from a pit in his chest that started to spread through his body, hitting his toes, fingers, and eyes, causing a light stabbing feeling. A stabbing feeling strong enough to make fingers numb and eyes water.

They continued their walk to Aomine's home in silence, just as the tall tan had wished. A small tune radiated from Kise's pocket, instantly killing the silent atmosphere as both stopped in their place.

"Hello? Ah, how are you doing manager? Now? Can it be some other time? I understand, thank you for telling me."

Kise hung up his cell phone and looked up at Aomine, slightly disappointed but more relieved.

"I'm sorry Aominecci, I won't be able to come over anymore, I have a new modeling job today."

Aomine looked back down at Kise, and nodded his head.

"Ah, okay," He ruffled Kise's hair, "Work hard."

Aomine removed his hand and they both went separate ways.

* * *

**_Helllooooo reader. For I am the writer, I think I did pretty good for someone who hardly has an attention span, it may feel a little rushed though. I really want reviews, but I'm also really bad at rejection, so be gentle with me. _**

**_I hope you like, I'm going to continue it anyway._**


	2. The room with no exit

This is all Kise's point of view. A complete cut chain from the first chapter. Forget everything about Aomine and completely focus on Kise's parts.

* * *

There was a slight tapping on his bedside window. Just a slight tapping, a continuous quiet tap that never ceased.

Kise tried his best to keep his eyes closed, being he was still tired, but the tapping just kept going and going. Still to tired to open his eyes, Kise concentrated on his sleep and eventually was able to fall back in.

He could feel his body become exceptionally relaxed, so relaxed it was as if he no longer had a body. He was aimlessly drifting in his own mind, the peace he felt was orgasmic. It was the peace he yearned for, peace that would never be achieved in his lifetime.

**Tap**

A single sound shattered the peace making Kise fall instead of drift. He was constantly falling, heart racing, yet everything seemed as if it had stopped. He couldn't quite explain this feeling even if he could use all the words in the world. It was a feeling of uncertainty and helplessness. It was so hard to say, one part because it was an indescribable feeling, second part because no ask nor did they care to listen, third part? There was no one to tell. No one to listen. No one to care.

**TAp**

Another sound breaks the ground. Kise plummeted to the ground, landing on his back, a throbbing sensation running from his ears and around his head, causing his eyes to water from pain.

**TAP**

**TAP**

**TAP**

**TAP**

**TAP**

**TAP**

**TAP**

**TAP**

**TAP**

Every tap was like getting stabbed in the brain.

"ArAggghh!"

Kise screamed clutching his head and going into fetal position.

**TAP**

**TAP**

**TAP**

Tears kept falling out of his eyes as the tapping bounced around the room. The dark endless room, a room without light, a room without an exit. Each tap got worst, worst then a stab at the brain. It encased Kise's brain, like a sarcophagus.

"Please stop!"

Kise tried to scream at the top of his lungs but to his dismay, no sound came out. Everything was blocked by the tapping. Kise clawed at his ears to stop from hearing, drawing blood, but he heard the tapping clear as day, ironic since everything signified night.  
Eventually little Ryouta gave in, he laid there, absolutely lifeless, crying and laughing at the same time. Not a laugh of an amused boy, but a laugh of the insane, not the tears of the hurt, but the tears of the fallen.

Kise wasn't whole anymore. He was broken in two. The real him that lied in his mind, tapping until he got out, and the Kise everybody knows.

Kise Ryouta ~ssu

* * *

**_Well, I was suppose to write what drove Kise down in this chapter, but apparently, that didn't happen. So I' m going to do it in the next one. I really don't know whats happening anymore. I had this normal angst idea but then it turned into this thing. I think its still pretty cool but I dunno what is about now. Don't worry. I'll get it together._**


	3. The breaking of the broken boy

Again, Its all Kise. This time, we're gonna understand the boy.

* * *

"I'm sorry Kise, we can't afford that."

His mother said with sad eyes as she took the palate of food the boy had requested. He didn't look disappointed, he understood his families crisis. They weren't wealthy, actually, they were quite poor. Kise was only nine, he couldn't help his family in anyway and he hated that. He hated looking at his family everyday and seeing their eyes completely dull and not being able to do anything. He was helpless. He had always been helpless.

A poor family

A broken family

Equals

A poor boy

A broken boy

"Ryouta!"

Kise's sister bust through the door, holding out a flyer

"Here! You are such a beautiful boy, its a shame we can't dress you up in nice clothes, try this out."

His sister handed him the flyer

"A modeling job?" Kise's eyes scanned the paper over and over, reading each word three times to make sure he was understanding it correctly. "We could make a lot of money if I land the job!"

Kise's heart skipped several beats at the thought of finally being able to help his family financially. The next day, the day of the interview, the whole entire Kise family was buzzing with hope that hadn't been there in a while.

* * *

Kise marched down the street, clutching the flyer as if it were to be a luck charm. His palms becoming sweaty and his vision going in and out, he had never been so nervous, nor so scared. Finally making it at the doors, the response to his entrance was immediate.

"Oh my gosh! Are you here for the interview? Come! Come"

The lady grabbed his arm and forcibly pulled him along, pushing people out of the way.

"Here," The women walking into a large room and stopped. It was filled with cameras, make up desk, changing booths, and a photo shoot set up. "This is where we are going to test your ability."

She wasn't reluctant when she grabbed Kise's arm once more and through him into the make up artist and clothing director's arms. Within minutes he was ready for his interview photo shoot. He stood in front of the camera and did as he was told._ Smile, turn this way, look that way, show some teeth, give a little pout. _It was all incredibly simple, like breathing. The actions were called out and he complied upon them.

"Wonderful!" The photographer screeched "I want this boy!"

Kise's heart fluttered hard enough he wouldn't be surprised if someone heard it.

"You've got the job, boy!"

He raced home to tell his family the news as soon as he was let out.

"Mother I ma-"

He was cut off by gross sobbing and loud yelling

"This family is shit! It wouldn't be like this if we'd never had those damn kids! You know what women! This wouldn't be a problem if we hadn't fucking met. We are poor as fuck and that boy is going to try modeling? Why in the hell did we allow that, we don't have the money to keep up with whatever he needs! He isn't fucking helping! He is making shit worse!"

Kise froze at the front door, afraid to even breath.

"You listen hear. Why are you suddenly yelling and telling Kise off? The boy has always tried his best to keep this family on its toes, no matter his age!"  
There was a loud slap

"Mother!"  
Kise forgot his vow of silence and burst through the kitchen door. He saw his mother quivering on the ground clutching her tear smeared face. What ticked his father off to this point, this was to far to just be because of the job. Something else, something else was conflicting and fogging his father.

"Damn this whole family, I will watch how everything crumbles once I leave!"

"Father! Please don't go! What is going on! Can we please just talk about this?"

Kise spoke softly clutching one arm around his mother, the other on his father's hand

"There isn't a thing to talk about. I've hated it here. I think today was the day I decided to say it. I hate being poor. I hate this family. I hate your sisters, them being of age and being completely useless. I hate your mother for trying to keep a smile everyday. And most of all Ryouta, I hate you."

The words ripped at the happy heart Kise had previously had.  
There was a moment of silence until Kise did his best to speak, his voice sticky and dry.

"Why?"

His father chuckled

"Why? Let me give you a list. You damn laugh, what the hell kind of laugh! Why are you laughing! You were a kid and you never got anything you wanted, you should be crying your eyes out every night. The way you talk, ~ssu here ~ssu there, adding -cci to everything. It was cute when you were a kid but now its just annoying. You talk so goddamn much, you are always talking even when no one is listening. Its annoying and stupid."

His father yelled every word at him, bearing him to his reality. The reality where everyone he cared about seemed to be at loss. Kise sat there, processing the words his father uttered as slow as he could hearing in the background the cluttering of his father packing up and leaving.

Was he really so annoying?

_Clatter_

Was he really that stupid?

_Creak, thud_

Had he never realized how useless he was?

_Creaackk, clack, crika_

The sound of the door opening and closing brought Kise back to his world. The world where the coffee table was crooked, the world where his mother was trembling under him, the world where there was one less family member, the world where he was crying without even knowing.

The silence of this world was screaming hurt at him. Moments passed and nothing changed. Moments passed and no sound was made. Moments passes until his mother swayed.

"You did it," His mother mumbled, "You made your father go mad. You made your father leave."

The words hurt more then his father's

"He was right. You are a nuisance. I wish I could trade you back for some of the wealth we used to have."

Again, he felt the rip dig deeper inside him.

"Mothe-"

He couldn't speak, he was just so hurt. It felt as if his whole entire being was being impaled, starting from his limbs inward to his heart and back out again. When had his family being to hate him so much?

* * *

**_What, the, actual, fuck. I honestly don't know. People probably don't even like this chapter, people probably don't even like this story, but whateva. I had track tryouts today and will be for this whole week and if I get accepted, I have it everyday. So this story is gonna be a little slow. I apologize. Its not going to not update tho, I love writing it. I will try to make it clearer, Its really confusing. Like, 'why the fuck are you just randomly yelling at kise'. Goommeeeennnn I just needed a background story. _**

**_Write some reviews. Tell me what I need to clean up, maybe even story ideas, cause i'm drawing blanks!_**


	4. Always, it's when they were opposites

Kise marched down the streets to his modeling agency. He thought about things when he walked alone, that was why he never walked alone. The things he did, the things his parents did, the things he'll never do, the things he wanted to do, and the things he can't do. Kise always had a problem of over thinking, Aomine didn't know that, so he often did stuff that made Kise anxious. Kise's pace started to slow as he started to get closer and closer to his job, not wanting to work.

"Uwah! I'm so lazy."

Kise stopped in the middle of the walk way and dived into an open coffee shop. The beautiful strong scent of coffee shop went through his nose and spread across his body, an odd sense of warmth became of him. He didn't even want coffee, it was just cold outside and he didn't want to work. There wasn't any special memory in coffee shops either, Kise just liked the smell.

"I don't even want coffee."

Kise mumbled under his breath as he swiftly exited the shop, building up the energy he received from the inhaled coffee boost. There was a tingling sensation in the back of his neck, he moved his hand to softly brush at it, the tingling didn't stop.

Kise continued to sigh and walk at the same time as he trudged to the agency. He could call in and refuse the job instead, but he was afraid to face Aomine. He was afraid Aomine wold get tired of him just like his father did. That he would leave him, that he would forget Kise. That he would come to hate Kise. The more Kise thought about it, the harder his chest ached and the harder it became to breathe. He was too afraid that Aomine would reject, he did his best to get away whenever he messed up. Like today.

"I shouldn't talk to much. Aomine-cci will get tired of my voice."

Kise mumbled as he pushed the door to the agency open.

"Kise! You're here! Quickly! Quickly! Get changed!"

"Yes ma'am!"

Kise rushed away to the direction his manger pointed.

"Oi! Don't have to call me ma'am, I'm only twenty-six!"

Kise giggled from his location and called back to her.

"Yes, Aoi!"

Aoi was his manager, and he wasn't afraid of loosing her. She understood his situation, she was the only person in this world that knew both stories. It wasn't funny how much he respected her.

Somewhere inside of him, he wished Aomine knew as well, but it was a conflicted feeling that fought with his fear of pushing to much onto Aomine. He didn't want to burden Aomine with his problems. He didn't want to cause Aomine any trouble. He push just enough to get his way, but not enough to tear the paper.

"Time for the shoot!"

Kise took one more look in the mirror and walked to the set.


	5. Warmth Is Just a Replacement

**_Wow, I took forever on this one. Sorry. I have snow days so I'm updating all these motherfuckers._**

* * *

"I'm home mother."

Kise gave his usual greeting as he entered his home.

Again, there was no reply, there was never any reply. She didn't need to know if he was home or not, she didn't care if he disappeared. In fact, it would be better if he had.

Kise scanned the home, just to check if she was even home at all. There was a rustle in the kitchen, so Kise moved cautiously towards it. He walked in and his mother sat at the kitchen table, with her hair in a bun, and her looking clean and new.

"Mother? Why are you all dressed up?"

Kise became worried, what was she planing?

"Ryouta. I'm leaving."

His mother's face seemed hard but her words were fluid.

"I can't stand it here anymore. Just like your father, I can't stand you. I will be leaving some food. I won't be leaving money, I hardly have any of that and you can make it yourself. I've met a rich man, someone who is able to care for me. I will be able to learn to love him. He's one of those people, unlike you Ryouta. Someone you learn to love, not someone you learn to hate."

His mother looked up at his eyes, her eyes seemed so full of resentment.

"You were always an unlucky child. You were always sick. Always needed attention. Always needed care. You always needed something."

She stood up abruptly from her chair and grabbed the suitcase that hid in the shadows.

"Call me back when you find someone you don't force away."

His mother walked quickly towards the door.

"Mother please."

Kise ran up to her and gripped her arm tightly. The arm which flew out of the grasp with swift strong movements.

Kise flinched in surprise. The surprise of the attack and the surprise of the slamming of the door.

The slam echoed through the house, punching his ear drums, rattling his brain, and sending shivers down his spine. He backed into the wall and slowly slid down, feeling his shirt roll up, feeling the coldness on his skin.

"I'm home mom."

Kise announced to the empty house.

"Mother! I'm home."

Again. He told his empty house.

"Mom. I've arrived."

Again.

"Mom." Kise's voice trembled with each word as the tears rolled down his cheeks, like constant flowing rivers. "I'm home."

"Mom."

"Dad."

"I'm home."

His voice shook on each word. Words that went in and out of hearing. He took his shaking hands and brought it to his face, pulling it down into his lap.

"Mommy. Daddy. Are you home yet?"

Every word was a desire to have them back with him again.

"Please don't leave me here."

Every word was a wish that would never be for-filled.

"Don't leave me here alone."

Kise choked on his sobs. He could feel the light disappear from his world. He could feel all the coldness creep around his feet, pulling him into an empty world.

"Please."

He felt his tears seep through his jeans and dampen them.

"I don't want to be alone."

He felt sorry for himself, but felt guilty for only thinking of himself. He was the one who cause them unhappiness, now they have left him. They have left him to be happy. He should be happy. The more he thought, the more tears spewed out of his eyes.

"They left me to be happy. I will let them be happy."

He closed his eyes to imagine the darkness again. The darkness he despised began to bring him warmth.

Again and again, he visited the dark place.

And again and again, it brought him warmth.

The usual warmth when you are happy.

The darkness was his unholy replacement for happiness.

* * *

**_I was writing this chapter and I started crying, but it was so difficult to put my tears into words. It was just, so hhharrddd. I'm sorry. I did my best. I really tried. I don't know how to explain why I cry since I hardly ever do it._**


	6. A Picture Worthy Smile

"Ryouta!"

Someone had called for him, Kise turned in excitement when he heard the voice that did not belong. His face bursted into an excited smile as he noticed a blue noggin sticking out from behind the set.

"Aominecci!"

Kise quickly pounced at Aomine, latching at his arm.

"Why are you here?"

He finally asked.

"Well, I was I my way home and I was really bored. I was kinda looking forward to hanging out with you. So I decided to come here and pick you up, maybe get some dinner later."

Aomine combed his fingers through his hair, trying not to make eye contact with the beautifully dressed and drawn on Kise.

Seconds had passed and still, Kise said nothing. Feeling slightly intimidated and annoyed Aomine quickly faced the model. With a single glance, Aomine's heart had bursted, Kise wore a look, as if he were a puppy waiting to go for a walk. Aomine could have sworn he saw a tail wagging from below.

"Is that an okay?"

Aomine sighed out, trying to pretend like he had lost interest, but it all came out half-hearted.

"Its more then okay. I'm almost done with my shoot. Wait for me!"

Kise called out as he walked back to the cameras, getting in place for the last few photos.

* * *

Aomine sat in astonishment as he watched Kise moved around completely flawlessly. He through out smiles with ease. Each position Kise took just made Aomine yearn for his touch more. He kept his gaze on Kise the whole entire time, twenty minutes. He kept his eyes solid on Kise for twenty minutes.

"Neh! Ahomine! Don't stare like that, you're making me nervous."

Kise's sudden attention brought Aomine back from his constant "Kise admiration."

Aomine opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the loud sound of his growling stomach. He immediately blushed red at the disturbance, he blushed even redder when Kise started to snicker.

"Oi! Don't laugh! I haven't eaten at all."

Kise stopped laughing and waved his hand at Aomine.

"Okay, Okay. I'm going to go change and I'll come right back, I'll treat you to whatever you want to eat."

Kise chuckled one last time, his cheeks were bright and rosy, his hair was lighter then usual, and he skipped off to the dressing room.

The sight made Aomine's heart do the ballet and buy tickets for the next upcoming opera. Yet, something still tugged at him. Of course it was all make up, but the smiles Kise were displaying, they seemed, they seemed rather.

"Why does his smile also look like it was just another flick of a make-up brush?"

With his heart still dancing, his brain processing, and his stomach growling, Aomine was not in shape for pondering his dear beloved's state of mind right now.

"Daikiicci! I'm ready. Lets go!"

Kise pulled Aomine out of his chair with great gusto.

"Alright, Alright. Be gentle with me, I'm not well today."

"You're not? Are you sick? Do you want to go home and I order delivery?"

"Of course not. I came here to get you to go out for dinner, right. Don't make my plans irrelevant you idiot."

Kise hung onto Aomine's arm as soon as they were out of the building, smiling with not only his mouth, but with his eyes as well.

_Ah, there we go, a picture worthy smile. That's the smile I was looking for._

Aomine yanked his hand away from Kise's grip, he could see the surprise and feel of rejection rise inside the blonde, so he very quickly wrapped his arm around his dear again. Kise, finally understanding Aomine's action, settled back into Aomine's chest.

_So warm._

* * *

**_I just realized. This is gonna be one long ass story. I gave you some 'fluff' cause apparently, in the last chapter, I did very well in putting my tears into words. So now I'm giving you a break. Have a wonderful, colorful, loving world. Where everyone is happy._**


	7. Time For Dinner

Aomine and Kise marched down the streets, hand in hand, Kise smiling brightly while Aomine's stomach yearned for sustenance.

"Oi! Kise, what do you wanna eat?"

Aomine said, breaking the beautiful silence. Kise's smiled faltered slightly as he drove himself into thought.

"I actually don't know."

With Aomine's hand still hung over Kise's shoulders, he hung his head.

"Damn, well let's figure out fast. I'm staring."

His stomach growled to defend his point.

Kise chuckled slightly, "What about that new restaurant? I'll buy."

Kise offered as he turned his head to face Aomine.

_Him buying me food. While I'm hungry. And its a new restaurant. With good reviews. While **I'm** hungry. **Him** buying **me** food._

"Yes."

Aomine's face was completely stern, but somehow, you could tell the hidden humor he had thought in his mind. It was obvious to Kise, making him burst into several tiny chuckles.

"Alright, alright. Then its decided."

Kise grabbed onto the hand hanging over his shoulders and led Aomine's way.

* * *

"What would you like to order?"

The waitress had her writing pad and pen at the ready.

"Can I get the...um."

Kise began his sentence, but failed to continue it. Aomine took a turn for the munch.

"I would like some of the..um."

Failed.

_Dammit. This place has nothing!_

Aomine looked up at Kise, seeing if he felt the same, it showed on his face. The look of pure concentration, he could see Kise's eyes dart right to left, scrolling down the menu.

"Oi Kise."

Aomine tried to let out a silent whisper but instead, his voice came out rough and deep, vibrations could be felt through the table.

"Yes?"  
Kise looked frantic, his cheeks looked slightly flushed.

_Damn. Lets just go home. I want him. I'm hungry for him._

By then, the waitress had already decided to leave and come back when called.

"Lets go somewhere else. Actually, lets just go home, I can order deliver."

Aomine tried and kept his voluptuous voice low. He could see Kise's face become redder and redder with every word he spoke.

"B-but. I'd promised I'd take you out."

Kise's voice cracked slightly, as if he were under great pressure.

Aomine finally processed Kise's actions.

_Oh, so you're turned on too._

Aomine threw a smirk on his face and looked deeply into Kise's golden spheres.

"Ryouta, Lets go home."

His voice deeper, more vibrations could be felt, Kise could feel his face burn up.

It was all to obvious.

Way to obvious.

"Okay."

They both stood from there chairs and left the restaurant quickly.

* * *

Aomine quickly unlocked his apartment home door.

As soon as it was open, he grabbed Kise's head and pulled him into a enchanting kiss, not leaving time for Kise to fully enter the home. Finally letting go, Aomine's gruff voice vibrated through the room.

"Time for dinner."****

* * *

**_Ha, I'm just going to leave this here for you. Don't worry. I'm gonna be blushing redder then Kise when I write the next chapter. I just wanted to take break from all the depressing junk. Ya know. Give ya sum smut._**


	8. You Are My Everything

_Time for dinner..._

The words winded through Kise's head as Aomine kissed him. Aomine constantly sucking on Kise's bottom lip while Kise suck on his top. As their feet stumbled on the own way to the room, they refused to detach from each other, in fact, Aomine wrapped his arms around Kise's slightly smaller waist, picking him up slightly and pulling him close, slightly.

"Nyah! Aominecci."

Kise spoke between breath breaks.

"Hmm? Kise."

Aomine replied tauntingly.

Aomine brought his face down so that it was pushed against Kise's neck, he started to gently nibble. The ticklish sensation mixed with the small sting of each nip of Aomine's teeth brought a vibration down to Kise's lower. Aomine knelt down a little, sliding his hands slowly down Kise's legs, lightly brushing against his jeans so it gave another slight tickle. After reaching Kise's knees, Aomine buckled them, forcing Kise to sit on his hips and wrap his arms around his neck.

"Uwah! Aominecci! I'll fall."

Kise whined thoroughly startled

"Not if I do this."

Aomine smirked as he pinned Kise along the wall.

"Nyuh!"

Kise's back hit the wall with a thump, the coldest swept through him, colliding with Aomine's warmth. Aomine's tongue trailed around Kise's mouth, tracing his cheek bones and jaw line from the inside. With Kise pressed against the wall it was easy for Aomine to push his hands up Kise's shirt, groping his hips and moving up to Kise's soft nipples.

"Neh! Daikiicci! Stop teasing."

Aomine was so engulfed in Kise's body, he didn't notice the blush that had spread around Kise's face, moving down his neck like a wild fire.

The sight in front of Aomine drove him insane. He let his eyes scan over Kise's ravishing body, the eyes that glossed from frustrated tears, the bare skin that showed from under the lifted shirt, and the messy hair that rubbed against the wall. It was beautiful.

"Pfft. And you say I'm teasing."

Aomine let out a hearty sigh and picked Kise up again, walking towards the bedroom, kissing each other passionately.

Aomine through Kise onto the bed making him land with a 'fluhlumpafa.'

Kise let a little whine at the roughness of the throw. A whine so high pitched and vulnerable, it was a complete turn on.

Aomine ran his eyes up and down Kise's partially exposed body hungrily, his pleasure practically dulling his sense. He ripped of his jacket and through off his shirt, throwing himself onto Kise, pinning him down with his body weight.

"Nyng, Daikiicci! You're hea-"

Aomine roughly cut him off with another breath taking Kiss, with both of his arms bound, Kise couldn't put up a fight. Aomine quickly detached himself from the kiss, leaving a string of saliva hanging between them. He reached down to Kise's pants and undid the belt, pulling it out of it's loops he used it to keeps Kise's arms bound together while he used his hands for other things.

"Ah! Daikicci! Why? Wai-"

Silenced again by Aomine's actions. Two different temperatures ran up Kise's body, a cold hand that caressed his back and warm hand that caressed his chest. Aomine kissed and suck on Kise's stomach, make his way down to the no longer buttoned pants.

"Daikicciiii! Don't!"

Kise whined, but again cut off, Aomine loved cutting him off. He always made the cutest noises. Aomine slipped off Kise's underwear, revealing a full erection. Aomine gave a little chuckle and looked up at Kise.

"Perv."

Kise lifted his bounded hands and blushed horribly.

"Nehhhhhh! Don't look! Don't look! Don't look! Don't! Look!"

The tears that started at the corners of his eyes started falling, adding to the bare cuteness he held.

_Maybe I am a bit of a sadist._

Aomine let a growl ripple from the inside of his chest an let a smirk grow widely on his face while he also stripped himself naked.   


Leaning forwards, Aomine rubbed himself against Kise's, earning a little moan. He grabbed Kise's arms and put him in sitting position on Aomine's lap, forcing the two to touch, the friction getting rougher.

"Hnng."

Kise's arms wrapped around Aomine's neck and his face fell onto Aomine's shoulder as he felt the pleasure surge through his lower. Aomine left one had on Kise's back and let the other glide down to quicker the friction between the two.

With the hand pressed firmly onto Kise's back, Aomine could feel his body trembling under the pressure, he could feel the Kise's hot, ragged breaths tickles past his ear. The feeling of Kise being pressed against him made his body react, he kept getting bigger, his hand getting faster around the two.

"Ah! Daikicci! I'm gonn-Ah!"

_Yes, yes, go ahead._

Aomine kept his hand moving, but this time, putting a little pressure on Kise's side, not wanting to let himself finish first.

"Hmm-ah!"

Aomine felt the vibrations from each moan and whine Kise let out.

_Come on Ryouta, Come on. I want to ravish you even more. I wanna stick it in!_

"Ahhha! Daikicci!"

He felt Kise's body shake violently, and then the thick liquid cover his hands.

"Ung..."

He felt Kise's body droop slightly and a puppy like whine escape from his lips.

_So cute._

Aomine nibble on Kise's earlobe endearingly before flipping him over roughly. _  
_

"Uwah! Daikicci!"

Kise wailed incredibly embarrassed, his body lied in a compromising position, with his face buried into the sheets, his ass stuck in the air. Despite Kise's cries, Aomine stuck his fingers in Kise's entrance, the pain eased from the liquid spilled before.

"Hnng Nyah!"

He felt Kise pulsing around him, he plunged his finger father into Kise, receiving a delightful moan from Kise's muffled mouth.

"Oi, Kise, are you enjoying this?"

Aomine's voiced rumbled, he taunted Kise with questions while adding another finger.

"Unng, ah, Daikiicci, please, hurry," Kise turned to face Aomine, his cheeks blushing red, his eyes dripping with ecstasy,"give me more."

_Whoop, there it is._

After Kise's erotic words, Aomine's tanned face turned to nothing more than the color of a ripe tomato. He slowly pulled his fingers out of Kise, feeling it twitch from the loss.

Aomine stood on his knees and pressed the tip to the entrance, not putting it in all the way, he leaned over Kise's body a put his mouth to Kise's ear, whispering slowly.

"I'm putting it in."

Aomine heard a little whimper and a head shake of approval, with that, he slid his way in.

"Ah! Nyyahh!"

Kise grabbed handfuls of the bed sheet into his hands, calling out in pleasure and slight pain.

"Damn, Ryouta. You're so soft."

He felt Kise pulse around his lower, squeezing, slightly sucking. He let his hips take control, he didn't even warn Kise, he just started moving, started moving a bit too hard too.

"Hnngna! Daikiicci! Slow down!"

He heard Kise call out, but he was too lost in his own pleasure to realize, he leaned on to Kise, kissing the nape of his neck. Trailing his kisses down Kise's back while still thrusting hard into him.

There was sticky noise the engulfed the silent room, a sticky noise, hot moans, exaggerated breaths, creaking of a bed. Aomine could feel his hips slowing down slightly, he had less stamina then usual, probably because he was still hungry, though looking at Kise was an absolute feast.

Aomine gave a deep thrust with all he had and laid on top on Kise, who was still shivering from the force of said thrust. Kissing and sucking on his neck again and again, Aomine grabbed Kise's knees and pulled him up so that Kise's back was to his chest, with Aomine still inside.

"Ah! Ha!...uh..Ah!"

Kise gave a little cry with every move Aomine made so that the position was comfortable. Aomine held Kise hard to his chest, with his legs in Aomine's hands, he started to thrust.

"Hnng! Daikiicc- Ah," Kise's hands flailed try to grabbed Aomine, but only successfully grabbed the sheets, crinkling them once more. "its, too deep. Ah!"

_WHOOP, THERE, IT, IS_

Kise's breathes started to become quicker, more cut off, but steamy. His moans dripped even more ecstasy then his eyes, Aomine wanted to hear it more. He started to kiss Kise's neck again, pushing their heads together so that their lips met. He felt Kise's moans vibrate around the inside of his mouth as Kise suck on his tongue. He felt Kise's insides twitch and pulse around him, Kise was close again. But he wasn't the only one who was. Aomine jerk his hips so that his dick rubbed Kise's inner walls, stirring him up inside. Kise's eyes widened and his jaw dropped into an inaudible scream.

The creaking

The sticky noises

The heavy breathes

The silent moans

The bear like groans

"Ryouta, I'm close."

Kise could only nod his head, there were to many things going on at once to be able to conjure up a complete reply. Aomine's hot air started creep up Kise's shoulder, kissing and sucking the sweet spot on his neck, he felt the tingling beneath him, Aomine started thrusting harder then before.

"Together, Ryouta."

"Unh."

Aomine's lips lingered as he bared his teeth and bit Kise's ear, the light sensation was a final blow. Kise trembled as he let it out, trembling harder then usual cause he felt Aomine's erupt inside him, trickling down the sides.

Still holding tight onto Kise, Aomine whispered.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

The sun cracked through the blinds, hitting Kise in the eyes, disrupting his sweet sleep. He shifted his body so the he turned away from the sun, he never expected to view such a dreamy sight.

He looked at the soundly sleeping face of his lover, hardly inches away from his own. A calm, child like face.

Aomine Daiki.

His everything.

His only thing.

His reason.

His life.

His warmth.

His sun.

His night.

His day.

His happiness.

"I love you, Daikiicci."

* * *

**_Happy Valentine's day y'all. Yes, I am no longer sick, well sorta, and I got this chapter up in time for the love holiday. Woo. This is my first run at smut, so if its bad, oops. If its good, fuck yes! I hope you got to spend your Valentine's day with the ones you loved. Or, if you're like me and have no one to spend it with. Have a nice day in general!_**


	9. The Steps Aomine Took Away

**_Everything here is based completely off of Aomine's point of View. All actions in this chapter have taken place from the first moment they started dating to their present time. This chapter is a collection of small points in Kise and Aomine's relationship. The points will be set in order from the beginning of relationship to present time. Therefore, this chapter will be quite long. My condolences. _**

* * *

**Step 1. The Five O'clock Call**

I heard it blare, then there was the light shining from in front of my eyelids. It was to cold, I was so tired. Slowly, I let my eyes creak open, it kinda hurt. They sorta seemed like they were stuck together. I shifted myself so that I was facing the dresser that my phone laid charging on. Still trying to ignore the nuisance of a phone, I look towards my alarm clock, its glowing yellow lights burned into the insides of my cornea, showing me the time. _5:08._

_"_Tch, who calls a person at five in the morning?"

I felt the irritation rise up in the pit of my chest. It was excruciatingly cold these past days, and I've been staying up quite late trying to get some work done. Who decided to interrupt my sweet slumber?

Without a second thought, or even a peek at caller ID, I answer and push the I phone to my ear.

"What!"

The familiar, slightly shaking, voice on the other end slowly subsided the anger in me. But not completely.

"Hey, Daikiicci."

"Ryouta? Why are you calling me so early in the morning?"

He was my boyfriend. I had to show concern before I showed anger.

"Oh. Um. I...I just wanted...to have a small conversation."

The anger that somewhat subsided started to rise again, I did my best to keep it down. Why was his voice so shaky?

I let out a little sigh.

"About what?"

"You know. How has basketball been for you? How are you lately. Have you been eating well lately."

I felt my blood boil. Why would he call me at fucking five in the morning to talk about such useless junk? I'm so damn tired, and he just decides to call me in the middle of whatever just to ask me how I was eating! Goddamn, he is so annoying sometimes.

"Oh my god Kise. Is that really all you want to talk about? Fucking Christ. You're so annoying. I'm fucking tired, if you wanna talk, wait until a time when people actually are awake. Don't call me this early in the morning anymore."

The other end was silent, I felt a little guilty for my outburst at him but I was still angry; I could feel my eyes droop.

I waited for an answer even though I didn't leave room for one. I heard a slight muffled sniff, shit, I made him cry. I really hope it was a trick of the ears.

"Okay."

With the reply finally given my phone screen blinked, notifying me that the call had ended.

Fuck.

I dropped the phone and rolled around in my own guilt but was to tired to do anything about it. I let my eyes droop slowly again and then was immersed in the warmth of my sheets and the caressing hold of sleep.

**8:00**

My yellow alarm blared once more.

"Ugg. School."

I slid of my bed begrudgingly and sprinted to the bathroom. After completing all mandatory task such as brushing my teeth, taking a shower, changing my clothes, and occasionally checking my phone for the normal early morning texts from Kise I walked downstairs to receive my breakfast. Before leaving to go to school, I checked my phone one more time for that 'Good Morning' text from Kise.

I never received one.

**11:03**

"Oi Ryouta! Lets go have lunch."

I hadn't seen him all day and I felt really bad for what I had said last night, so I really wanted to have lunch with him that day. I hadn't expected to see him looking like that.

"Oh. Daikiicci. Sure, lets go!"

His face gave a bright smile, but the bags under his eyes made it look like a dark frown.

"Damn Kise. What's up with your eyes."

Kise carefully put his hand to his face, massaging his under eyes.

"Oh! I probably didn't get enough sleep last night."

Damn straight. Calling people at five in the morning.

**Except. Those bags under his eyes just seem to start getting darker. I never received another good morning text. The good thing was, he never called me in the middle of my sleep anymore. The bad thing was, he never called me again. I remember when my phone used to ring non stop with his name glowing on the front, but now, I hardly see that anymore. I hardly see "Good Morning Aominecci!" anymore. Those dark circles under his eyes, those blue and black bags, that's all I see anymore. I mean. He is still smiling, but now, he always looks tired.**

* * *

**Step 2. Pay Attention**

"Aomine."

Midorima's voice echoed through the nearly empty locker room.

"Yea."

He doesn't really talk to me much unless there was practice or a problem.

Practice is over.

What's the problem?

"What's up with Kise lately?"

Kise?

"What do you mean?"

There hasn't been anything up with Kise lately. Its been as steady as ever. Those bags have even disappear. Thank god. I was starting to worry.

"He's been mellow lately. Remember how he used to hang off of Kuroko, or anyone in general."

Oh yea. I'm getting angry just thinking about how much he touches other people.

"Yea, what about it?"

I through my basketball bag over my shoulder and walked closer to the green headed magane.

"He doesn't do that anymore. Actually. I don't think I've seen him touch anybody at all. He hardly talks actually."

He doesn't?

"He talks to me all the time."

Well. To be quite honest. Midorima is right. Kise seems much more detached lately.

"That's cause you guys are together. It'd be bad if there were communication problems. But, just pay attention to him. You'll see what I mean."

Midorima straightened himself out and pushed his glasses back up his nose, he nodded me a goodbye and walked out of the locker room.

**Pay attention to him? Am I not. Actually. Maybe I'm not. I want to know why I don't get the cute good morning text or the bombarding calls of affection from him anymore. I miss you Kise. Why does it feel like we aren't together anymore. **

**I love you Kise.**

* * *

**Step 3. Paid Attention**

It's Wednesday and I've decided to keep tabs on Kise. His actions. His eating habits. His working habits. How he walks. How he talks. How he reacts. All of it. I want to know whats different.

**First Period: Math**

The teacher talked on and on. Frankly, I'm surprised I didn't fall asleep. Kise seemed pretty normal, the way he acted in class seemed normal.

**Second Period: E/LA**

Now, he started to seem slightly strange. He fidgeted around more when asked to read aloud in front of the class, he fidgeted when he used to speak out proudly. He started to stutter, gaining more looks from classmates, his hands intertwined with each other, finally finishing; he sat down quickly and didn't make any noise after.

**Third Period: Science**

Midorima was right. He doesn't talk, nor does he hang on to people like he used too. We were in groups today, and it was like he wasn't even there. He got his work done, answered questions occasionally, gave ideas but didn't do anything else. He didn't even argue when his ideas kept getting shot down.

Was he sick?

**Forth Period: Social Studies**

Just like math. Except, I don't have that much on him. This time, I actually fell asleep.

**Fifth Period: Special Language class**

Kise hardly listen to the professor at all. Of course, this was normal behavior for him, mostly in this class. It seems like he has the most trouble around classes where he had to interact with other students. Even worse was when he was forced to participate.

**Sixth Period: PE**

After changing my clothes for gym, I'd realized I hadn't seen Kise at all.

"Daiki! You better not be skipping!"

Shit! The professor.

"No, I'm looking for Kise."

"Oh him. He is at the nurse. Don't worry bout him, thought the lunch was bad. He is a man, he can take care of himself. Haul ass and get in here!"

"Fine."

I grumbled. Kise's in the nurse's place? Food poisoning? Hope he's okay, better check on him before club activities.

**Club Activities**

I walked across the fucking school to see my fucking sick ass boyfriend and guess what I see when I walk into the room. FUCKING NOTHING! That's right! Nobody was in the room! I changed quickly for him, I ran across the school for him, the least he could do was still be there.

Whatever.

At least he is better.

I marched back to the gym where the basketball team had to meet, I didn't expect to see Kise there though.

"Oi! Kise, I thought you had food poisoning."

"Oh! Aominecci! No, I just didn't feel well for a bit and didn't want to worsen my condition with gym."

He skipped on me. HE skipped on ME. Aomine Daiki was skipped on. I feel cheated. What the hell.

"Well, are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, very much."

He broke into his usual smile and walked over to my side, I prepped up for the hug I didn't receive. I saw it coming, his hands were spread out and arms ready, but I never got the hug. It was like he recoiled seconds before.

I'm kind of disappointing. I usually get what I want so I brought him into the hug instead, my arms wrapped around his neck and I brought the blonde's head to my lips, pecking them lightly. His aura felt slightly dejected, maybe I should bring him up. Yet, it seems like the kiss startled him. Like really startled him. He freaking flinched.

"Daiki. Ryouta. Get a room. But later. Its practice now."

Akashi reprimanded them

We let go of each other and started our practice.

**Watching Kise**

I noticed the small things going on around Kise. He would go in for a hug with a smile right on his face, but with a blink of an eye, the hands recoiled and the face went eerily normal.

Club activities ended and we all shifted toward the locker room, Kise lagged behind us all. We gathered inside the locker room, where Kise used to start a random conversation was now replaced but an odd silence. Everyone noticed it.

Murasakibara marched over to Kise and slightly tapped him

"Ne, Kise, are you sure you're alright, you're awfully quiet today."

The look on Kise's faced seemed to be a mixture of surprise and anxiety.

"Of course." The plastered smile made its appearance once again. He turned away and walked to the showers.

"Aomine, do you notice it now."

Midorima shuffled his way to my side. I didn't think he'd be so blunt with it. Did the others notice it.

"Aomine-kun, you really didn't notice until now."

"Ah, Tetsu, you noticed..."

Wow. I feel left out, and slightly stupid.

"I realized it after I noticed his hands retreat. You know how he usually grabs me, yea, he no longer does that. Its like, he wants to, but he doesn't."

Damn.

"Daiki, did you do something?"

Akashi appeared out of the corner, standing next to Kuroko.

"I...I don't know. No. I don't think so."

* * *

**Step 4: Confront Him**

Kise walked out of the shower looking slightly distraught.

"Oi. Kise. Do you want to come over today?"

I needed to know why. He looked unwell, I'm okay if a little sickness is the reason for this, but if it isn't...

He seemed shaken by the answer. That seems to be the only emotion I've seen on his face the past few days. Did he not want to go out anymore? Is he afraid of something?

Kise agreed with his paper perfect smile and we set out back to my place, we walked side by side.

Just a totally unrelated note. He smelled wonderful.

But I took this chance as a little conversation started.

"Kise, is there something bothering you lately?"

Though it was subtle I could see him go ridged. There wasn't that fake smile anymore, I was slightly happy that he was going to speak honestly, but then again worried because something was going on.

"No, not really Aominecci."

Though he didn't fake a smile, he still didn't speak as honest as I had hoped. I was getting very impatient. Why couldn't he tell me? I am his boyfriend, he is my boyfriend, we are together. I was so pissed but I couldn't let this topic slip up.

"Seriously Kise. For real. I'm worried. You seem all drained, are you okay, was it something I did. Cause if it was, I'm very sorry, tell me what I did and I'll make it up to you."

I through in a smile for a possible bonus.

Added bonus: Kise's real smile.

This wasn't a fake one.

"Its not Daikiicci. Everything is fine. I guess the sickness is just tiring me out."

The smile dropped from his face but his eyes grew a very worried look and he looked down towards my hand. Staring very hard, he started to move his hand slowly towards mine. Why is he so slow? Is he scared to hold hands or something. Again, why is he so afraid to touch. Don't force yourself. I was so incredibly pissed. He wouldn't tell me the truth and now it looks like its a chore to hold hands. Before he could reach my hand, I tore it away from his reach and started walking ahead of him.

I didn't hear a word after that. I'd lost the mood. There was no point in him coming over anymore, we didn't have anything else to talk about. It'd just be incredibly awkward.

"Oi Kise, " I turned back and looked at the blank expression drawn on his face, "maybe you should just go home today."

"Okay."

He turned his back and walked.

I'd never seen him so expressionless.

* * *

**_Again. My condolences to the time of yours that I have wasted. Sorry Sorry Sorry._**


	10. The Steps Kise Couldn't Take

_**These are the exact same scenarios that Aomine went through. Except, this is Kise's side. These are his point of views and how he feels about the situation and why he did the things he did. This chapter will probably as long or slightly longer then the last. My condolences.**_

* * *

**Step 1: The Five O'clock Call**

I couldn't sleep. If I closed my eyes, the nightmares would come back. It's been weeks since I'd been able to have a good nights rest. The bags under my eyes are starting to become more noticeable then before. I don't want anybody to know. I can't trouble anybody.

Alright

Breathe

Its okay

They're just nightmares. They can't hurt you. They aren't real. They're all fake.

I closed my eyes and snuggled into the center of my bed, breathing slowly, I let the warmth of the pillows and blankets coo me to sleep. I felt the fatigued that I had built up over time slowly pull me into a deep slumber.

I fell asleep.

But I can't wake up.

The darkness quickly consumed me as I closed my eyes. The darkness, like a little door to my nightmares.

I walked around aimlessly looking for a way out, but there wasn't, of course, there never is, there never will be.

It was like a collage of memories, the memories I had, the memories I cherished, but worst of all. The memories I wished never happened. The ones that I wanted to burn.

Then they were.

Mom

Dad

Daiki

All around me.

Then they started leaving.

Leaving through the exit I couldn't find. First dad. Then mom. They just turned their backs with the most disgusted look and left.

Daiki.

He stayed.

He stayed for a bit. The face that used to look at me with kindness shifted into one that looked with pity, then, he too, turned his back on me and left through the hidden exit.

He is leaving me.

I'm not gonna be able to see him anymore.

He won't hold me anymore.

He won't talk to me anymore.

_He won't love me anymore._

_He doesn't love me anymore._

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No.

No please.

Don't leave me anymore.

The darkness pierced my inside, ripping me apart. I screamed. I screamed so very lowed; I screamed at the top of my lungs, but no one answered me. Something pushed itself against my chest, it was like it was forcing its way out of my mouth. I couldn't breathe, I genuinely could not breathe. My lungs. My mouth. My nose. Everything had been stuffed. I can't. Please. Please someone. Please, someone save me. Someone help me. I can't breathe.

I forcibly ripped myself out of the black hole that replaced my dreams and felt the wetness on my face. The wetness from the sweat the poured from my scalp and the tears the dripped down my cheeks. I was crying. I didn't even know I was crying.

I can't go back to sleep.

I won't go back to sleep.

I'll see it again.

Aominecci will leave me again.

Aominecci.

I reached over to my phone and dialed his number without a second thought. I needed to hear him. I needed him. I needed to know that he still loved me.

The phone started ringing and I immediately realized my mistake. Why would I call him this early in the morning? I quickly tried to hang up but by then, he had already answered.

"What!"

Oh no. He's angry. Fuck. Its too late. I have to say something.

"Hey, Daikiicci."

My voice shook slightly, I was mortified. Fear from my dream and fear from Daiki collided into one, my voice couldn't keep still even if it was held.

"Ryouta? Why are you calling me so early in the morning?"

His voiced seemed softer. I didn't want to tell him about the dream. I don't want to burden him. I don't want him to be worried. I don't want him to feel an obligation to be worried because we were in a relationship. What do I say?

"Oh. Um. I...I just wanted...to have a small conversation."

The other end was silent for a bit, then I could hear him sigh on the other end. Oh, I fucked up.

"About what?"

His voice was grumpy, but still soft. I dug my hole to deep. I don't know how to get out. What do I say, it only seems like I can only make him angry.

"You know. How has basketball been for you? How are you lately. Have you been eating well lately."

I tried to let out a little chuckle to ease the tension, a tension so pressuring it could be felt through a phone, but it didn't come out. Not even as an audible squeak.

It was dead silence. I felt the tears welling up again. I was so scared. So very, very scared, I felt my hand tremble as I waited for his response.

"Oh my god Kise. Is that really all you want to talk about? Fucking Christ. You're so annoying. I'm fucking tired, if you wanna talk, wait until a time when people actually are awake. Don't call me this early in the morning anymore."

I expected a response, but not one like this. It silenced me. It stopped the trembling, I was completely frozen. The tears started rolling their way down my cheeks, mixing into the phone screen.

What had I expected?

It was all my fault.

Because of my problems I woke him up. He's gonna be tired because I woke him up. He's angry because I bothered him.

I don't know what to say. The words weren't going to come out. They were stuck in my throat like the lump that made my tears.

I could only squeeze out something simple.

"Okay."

I quickly ended the phone call to silence him from my disgusting sobs.

What was I crying for? I don't deserve to be pitied on. There is no reason to cry. I'm so disgusting. Why am I crying? It was my fault. I'm not allowed to cry. I did my best to silence the sobs, the more I tried the dizzier I got, I needed to sleep. But I couldn't. I was afraid. I am so afraid.

I laid there.

In my bed.

In my room.

In an apartment.

By myself.

For hours.

Awake.

Until the sun rose.

And my alarm blared for me to wake.

I laid there.

Awake.

**8:00**

I scuffled my way out of bed, and on reflex, I reached for my phone and began my good morning text. But I remembered what I did last night.

He didn't want to talk to me. He told me not to call him at night again. But there really isn't a difference between night and day is there. I shouldn't risk it. I shouldn't bother him again. To be honest, he hated it when I bombarded his phone with my stupid text messages. I guess I should stop.

Walking to the bathroom mirror, I looked at myself.

"Shit."

The bags under my eyes were to dark to conceal. They were dark and purple, like I had been punched in both eyes, a little lighter but it had the same affect.

I don't know what to do.

Actually, I'm too tired to do anything.

Its not a big deal.

I finished my morning routine and walked out the door.

**11:03**

"Oi Ryouta! Lets go have lunch."

Aomine's voice startled me slightly, but I was relieved he talked to me normally.

"Oh. Daikiicci. Sure, lets go!"

I pasted the best smile I could conjure up onto my face. It was tiring but I felt like I had too, everyone seems so used to me smiling, even when I don't want too. I turned around and picked up my bag, standing up and facing him again I noticed his intense stares.

"Damn Kise. What's up with your eyes."

Shoot. He noticed. I really didn't even try to conceal them, of course someone would notice.

I guess there really is no point in lying. I moved my hand to my face and started to massage the dark circles.

"Oh! I probably didn't get enough sleep last night."

Aomine gave a slight knowingly look, then just shook it off.

I never made another effort to hide the circles. I never made another effort to fall asleep. I didn't sleep.

Slight naps were absolutely horrifying.

I noticed the stares Aomine gave me every day, but I never really knew what to do about them. I guess I just have to keep smiling so he doesn't feel worried.

* * *

**Step 2. Pay Attention**

Practice had ended and I was first into the shower room. Aominecci knew I had a shoot after school so we left separately. Again, I was slightly relieved. I really didn't have the energy to start a conversation, I had the choice not too, but Aominecci would say something. I honestly haven't slept correctly in a month. But since I seemed to be under Aominecci's gaze, I kinda bought some more concealer. I don't mind waking up early to apply, I never actually slept.

To be honest.

I didn't have a shoot.

My manager cancelled a few minutes before practice.

I really want to talk to him. More then anything, I want to talk to him. I want to tell him my problems. I want him to tell me his. I want to be able to lie in his arms and not care about the things around me. I want to be the Kise Ryouta everybody thinks I am. But. I can't.

I can't tell him. I don't want to bother him. I don't want him to feel obligated to love me. I know. I know. I know I have a problem, I can't force Aominecci to except it. I want him to freely be able to leave me when the time comes and not have any guilt.

**I love you Aominecci.**

* * *

**Step 3. Paid Attention**

Its Wednesday, and I think Aominecci is stalking me.

**First Period: Math**

This is so boring. What the fuck. Oh my god. Shut up. Wait, is Aominecci falling asleep?

**Second Period: E/LA**

"Kise. Can you please read aloud this sentence?"

Fuck. Nononono. Everyone is staring at me.

"Avery.." I started to twiddle with my thumbs to distract myself slightly "was entranced.." Did I say that word right? God. Everyone is staring "in her new found book." I quickly finished the sentence and sat down. Everybody looked confused, my teacher, the students, even Aominecci.

**Third Period: Science**

I dreaded this moment. Today in Science we have to do this lab thing, and to be honest, I don't want to participate. I don't really want to interact with anyone, plus I'm really bad at Science. I'll get the answers wrong and end up costing the whole entire group points.

Aominecci was still watching me, its starting to make me uncomfortable.

We started our groups and I barely made an effort. I sat in my chair and waited for their instructions, and when I had an idea I would give it to them. They always shot it down, but I didn't mind. If they didn't like it, they don't have to use it.

**Forth Period: Social Studies**

I was so glad Science was over, but Social Studies is really boring. It was just note taking, so I was more comfortable. I looked over to Aominecci's seat.

Wait.

Did he fall asleep.

Haha. What an idiot.

**Fifth Period: Special Language class**

Aominecci is definitely watching me. What is he looking for? Is he taking tabs on me? Oh shit. He is. He's noticed something.

Fuck

**Sixth Period: PE**

I thought I'd skip for a bit.

I told the coach I didn't feel well and went to the rooftop.

The air was nice, warm but breezy.

I felt my eyes droop, the sleep was slowly creeping into the corners of my eyes. I was so tired, I wanted to sleep. Maybe this time, this time I won't dream.

That's exactly what happened. I didn't dream. There was nothing. A void. A dark void, I just laid floating there. It was beautiful. Even if there was nothing there. It was beautiful. The darkness started to comfort me again, the darkness always seemed to make things better. I was also rested, that made me feel nice.

* * *

**Club Activities**

The bell rung and I made my way to the basketball club. It seems like Aominecci didn't know I was skipping, mostly because he wasn't watching me anymore.

"Oi! Kise, I thought you had food poisoning."

Aominecci came shouting through the gym doors.

Ah. So he was looking for me. I felt kind of cheery that he worried for me, but it still made me a little nervous.

"Oh! Aominecci! No, I just didn't feel well for a bit and didn't want to worsen my condition with gym."

He did seem a little annoyed, but that all went away.

"Well, are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, very much."

I let my usual smile seep through. I went to hug him, but the memories of the night before hit me like a bullet. I immediately dodged the hug, but my arms were already spread open enough that Aomine would have noticed. I was scared again. Kurokocci always yelled at me when I hugged him, most of the team would call me annoying. I know they're just joking, but, maybe they're serious sometimes.

Aominecci looked confused. I started to turn around and try and escape the ace but instead, Aominecci grabbed me and hugged me instead. Soon enough, I felt a light peck on my skull. It had been so long since I felt his touch that it made me jump.

"Daiki. Ryouta. Get a room. But later. Its practice now."

Akashi scolded us from across the gym

We let go of each other and started practice.

**Watching Kise**

Practice had ended and we all went to the locker room. I was more tired then usual, for obvious reasons, so I lagged behind. As we gathered in the locker room, the air held place for a conversation that I should have started. I should have, but I didn't. I had nothing to say. I was tired. I wanted to go home. Murasakibara marched over to me and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Ne, Kise, are you sure you're alright, you're awfully quiet today."

I didn't think he would say that. What do I say?

"Of course."

I quickly threw on a smile and walked to the showers. As I turned on the water, I could hear everybody's muffled voices.

"Aomine, do you notice it now."

Midorima?

"Aomine-kun, you really didn't notice until now."

Kurokocci? What are they noticing?

"Ah, Tetsu, you noticed..."

What are they noticing!

I paused the water and listened in more closely

"I realized it after I noticed his hands retreat. You know how he usually grabs me, yea, he no longer does that. Its like, he wants to, but he doesn't."

So that's what they noticed. Is it even a big deal. I didn't want to annoy them anymore. Its what I do. Its the only thing I can do, I want to keep them around. So I'll keep them away. I don't want them to leave me yet. Not yet. I want them to stay for a little longer.

"Daiki, did you do something?"

Oh no. They're blaming Aominecci. It's all my fault. He's gonna be mad.

"I...I don't know. No. I don't think so."

He. He isn't mad? Oh. This is worse, is he blaming himself? No. He is blaming himself. All my fault..All my fault.

* * *

**Step 4: Confront Him**

I walked out of the shower feeling less giddy then I was before. I was causing problems again, I don't know what to do.

"Oi. Kise. Do you want to come over today?"

The sudden question caught me off guard. I really wanted to spend time with him, more then anything. I was afraid though, why did he suddenly want to hang out? What does he want to talk about. I don't want to tell him anything.

Not my dreams

Not my family

Nothing

I put all thoughts aside and agreed with a smile. If Aominecci wanted to hang out, I was in no one to turn him down.

We started to walk back to his place.

On an unrelated note.

He is randomly sniffing me.

Oddly, as we were walking, Aominecci started a conversation.

"Kise, is there something bothering you lately?"

I started to tense up. He really wanted to ask me question like this, I can't deal with it. I don't want to answer. I refuse to answer. I want to keep it a secret, no one can know. No one has to know. No one.

"No, not really Aominecci."

I will put on this facade until the end of my days, no matter how long or short they may be.

"Seriously Kise. For real. I'm worried. You seem all drained, are you okay, was it something I did. Cause if it was, I'm very sorry, tell me what I did and I'll make it up to you."

Aominecci asked, his face was annoyed but then he let a large smile appear on his face. I had never seen one like it, I couldn't help but smile too.

"Its not Daikiicci. Everything is fine. I guess the sickness is just tiring me out."

I decided I would hold his hand. To show that I was okay, but it wasn't working. My smile dropped as I started to concentrate. What if he doesn't want me to touch him. I started to creep my hand slower, my hand started to graze his but then Aominecci let out a loud sigh. He ripped his hand from my grasp and started to speed up his walking. The mood changed as if someone had flipped a switch.

"Oi Kise, " Aominecci turned back and looked back at me, "maybe you should just go home today."

My heart started to fall deeper into my stomach. I could feel the tears start to sting at the corners of my eyes, tugging and collecting, threatening to fall. I couldn't talk, if I did, I would burst out crying. I would cause a bigger problem. For Aominecci and everyone else.

"Okay."

Was the only thing I could squeeze out. I quickly turned around and walked back to my apartment. I couldn't explain the feeling. It was like something important was ripped away from me when Aominecci took his hand back. Like all the hope I had, that he still loved me, the hope that he wouldn't leave me, was all ripped away. I didn't want him to leave me yet. I want him to hold me. To love me.

I quickly opened my apartment door and dropped everything on the floor. The tears had started to fall several steps before, I was far enough from Aominecci that it didn't matter anymore. I felt so empty. So alone. I felt so guilty, like I had let Aominecci down. Like I had let everyone down.

I curled up into a ball and laid there for as long as I could keep up. I didn't sleep again. The tears didn't stop.

I am so scared.

I am so afraid.

I am so tired.

So cold

So sad

So lonely

So worthless.

And I'm sorry.

* * *

**_I started to work on this chapter immediately after the last one, but then I got lazy, and sick, and then extra hour in school. So, I'm sorry. And here. Have a new chapter. and if you also read my other stories, know that I will update them as soon as possible. I totally did not forget about them. Even that one new one, the one about the Fox aokise au. So yea. New chapter. _**


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